Finding our new normal

This past year has been shitty, there is no way to soft peddle that fact. My kids have seen their parent's marriage dissolve, had to move out of the only home they've ever known and are dealing with their mother trying to hold down three jobs while juggling homeschool.  To say their world has been turned upside down would be an understatement.

This is all new territory for us and we are navigating the only way we know how, by sheer force and determination. There have been days when the only thing I wanted to do was stay in bed and give in; but I didn't.  I got up and even though I might not have gotten dressed when convention tells most of us we should, I eventually did.

Asking children under the age of 13 to understand grown up issues such as divorce is to say the least asinine.  Hell I don't know what happened most of the time - how can I expect them to handle this information? There have been some hiccups, we've re-adjusted and kept going.  I'm not saying any of it is perfect, honestly most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing.

There is one thing that keeps me going though - my kids, it's that simple.  They are everything to me and I will do whatever I need to do to give them a happy life.

Recently my son was talking to his gamer friends on Skype and I passed his bedroom and threw out a smart-ass comment - I have no idea what I said but I heard him laugh and say "Yeah, she is".  What? What am I?

"My friends think you're cool" 

Why I wondered? What had he told a group of kids he had never met in real life about his mother to make them think I was cool?  I have NEVER been cool! Never, not in school, n.e.v.e.r.

I asked him later what won me the "cool mom" title.  He said he told his friends about me and they think it's great I talk to him and he can talk to me. I care about what he think and ask his opinion often.  I may loose my shit and yell sometimes but I always come back and talk about what went wrong and will apologize if necessary.

It's the one thing I said I would do if I was ever a mother.  I may screw up a million different ways but I am at least - without even knowing it - holding up my end of the bargain I made with myself all those years ago.

We took the summer off from school, something we usually don't do but now it's time to get back to work and figure out what that new normal is. I might not be the first normal we find or even the second (or third); it's going to take time but I have that.  And as long as I have my kids to keep that time with we will figure it out. We will find normal again.

A new chapter

Last week we started something I have been dreading all summer. Both of my children are in school full-time.

There is no one to ride to the preschool with me, no one to say "Good Morning" to the YMCA patrons, no one to help me clock in and no one to help me clean up after the kids are gone. There is no one to eat lunch with, no one to pick up after, no one to ask what channel Spongebob is on and no one to give me kisses "just because".

There is no one to push in a baby stroller, no diapers to change, no bottles to warm, no one to pick up and carry to a nap.


No one to kick my belly, no one to see on an ultra sound and no one to share my body with.


But... there are 2 special people to welcome home, 2 lunches to make, 2 book bags to collect papers from and 2 kids who I miss terribly.

I cried the first 2 days of school (and yes, even now I'm crying) but I know that in one hour I will be yelling at 2 kids to stop fighting.

And all will be right with the world.

Kathy

The last hurrah

Summer is winding down. It's a sad fact but one that I must face. I started thinking; "What have we been doing for the past 3 months?", so I looked at my pictures. There is the photographic evidence that we actually had fun. Sure there was some fighting, crying and yelling (both on my part and on the kids as well) but all in all we had a great summer!

Hope you enjoy looking at the pictures as much as we had posing for them!

Filling the pool

A cool morning on my porch

Sleeping on a pirate ship

Welcome Summer!

Catching "flier flies" with new friends

A bug catcher (and a goof!)

Climbing mountains

He's still my little boy

Marty's idol

John L. Porter designer of the Iron Clad CSS Virginia

Fireworks for The 4th of July

Complete with popcorn and root beer

Lazy days

Favorite Ipod spot

Arts & Crafts

Colonel William Crawford, founder of Portsmouth

Our waterway

Hog Island Fresnel Lens

The Railroad Museum of Virginia

Making dinner with Dad

One of the many nights they slept on the porch

Marty explaining artifacts at the

Portsmouth Naval Shipyard Museum

Lightship Portsmouth Museum

Standing in the Hollow Mast

A very hot day!

City Park

My baby's growing up

Having fun

Norfolk Botanical Gardens

Mermaid statue

It should have said

"Beware of Mamma"

Huckleberry Finn and Becky Thatcher

Tree stump maze

Taking a break

This is what I'll miss most about summer:

The best part of our vacation is most of these pictures were taken right in my own backyard. We love living in Portsmouth, there is so much to do and see here (we didn't even scratch the surface!).

I start back to work tomorrow and we have an open house for the kids school Tuesday so I guess this is really it.

Back to the grind.

Next week I'll post pictures of their first day at school and probably of me crying. But I am looking forward to having some time to myself. I just wish it didn't come at the expense of their childhood.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Kathy

Conflicted

They're driving me crazy today.

There I said it! Most days it's fine but today is my day to be short tempered and impatient. Today is their day to not listen and push my buttons. While I was brushing my teeth I was sadly thinking that I only have a few more weeks with them before school starts. I don't know how I'm going to get through the first day when I drop them off. The last 3 years I have taken Louisa to breakfast right after we dropped Marty off at his first day of school. Who am I going with this year? Who's going to help me punch my time card on my first day back to work? Louisa was always there with me, now who is going to reach up on their tippy toes and pull the handle for me?

Then I came downstairs and my two sweet babies had been replaced by two little monsters. "She hit me." "Because you called me butt face." "We need to go, we're going to be late." "Why does he always get to go first?" "Because I like him better." "I know you don't like him better, you're just saying that. He hit me again." "I didn't hit you. I tapped you." "Well stop tapping your sister." "Hey, she hit me back." "I tapped you too!" "Will you both please stop hitting or I'm going to hit you!!!"

Quiet in the car because they're pissed at Mamma. So I'm thinking again, what am I going to do with all that time? Who am I going to eat lunch with? "Get your feet off of me!!!" "You started it!"

I guess it's going to be like this for the next 26 days.

How did my sweet children go from this:

To this???

It happened in a blink of an eye, while I wasn't looking!

One minute I'm crying because my kids are going back to school the next I sending the little creeps to their rooms! I think it's a plan, it's so you'll want to send them out into the world. Go, for heaven's sake just go! But please come back; come back soon and tell me all you have learned. But be quiet because your giving me a headache with all that talking! Need me but not all the time, just when I need to be needed.

Today I went to get a cup of coffee from a little shop downtown. While we were sitting there I looked out the window and saw a lady wheeling a suitcase down the sidewalk and put it in her car. I told the kids, "See that lady with the suitcase? She's running away from home because her kids are driving her crazy. See the big smile on her face??". Don't think I'm too mean because I mess with my kids so much the don't believe anything I tell them. They both just laughed and said she wouldn't leave her kids! Yea, right!

But I know she (I) would come back because you can't live without your heart. Even if your heart gives you attacks every now and again.

Kathy

Exhausted!

Here's what they don't tell you when you become a Mother:

For the next 8 - 10 years you will be constantly pouring drinks, wiping bottoms (hopefully that ends at age 4!), getting snacks, preparing crafts, looking at said craft, wiping up paint on the floor (table or wall), doing homework, laying out school clothes, fixing meals (in between the snacks, of course), gluing broken toys, reading books, turning on DVDs, playing with Barbie, Hotwheels, cards, board games, etc..., tying shoes, changing clothes (for fun not because they are dirty), approving web pages, books and TV shows, listening to endless bickering about who gets to sit in the choice spot, chauffeuring to and from wherever, coloring, breaking up fights, picking up toys and anything else the little darlings can think of (did I mention that was just what I did in one day??).

What I have not told you is I also work outside of the house 2 mornings a week, fix meals, wash clothes and anything and everything involved in cleaning this big old house (I am a confessed neat nick so this is a big part of my day).

Why am I telling you this???

Well, I'm exhausted and I needed a break!

Have a great weekend!

Kathy

Sleeping porches

Since we got the house painted the kids have been allowed to go on the upstairs porch (I wouldn't let them go out before because the paint was peeling so badly!). They asked (begged) me to let them sleep out there, so we got the air mattress and sleeping bags out and let them have a "porch camp-out". It was cooler last night thanks to a small storm that passed through so it was great weather for sleeping (we were able to turn off the a/c in the house too.). I'm not sure if the original owners slept on cots or just took their mattresses outside but I'm sure they didn't have blow up mattresses and Ipods for comfort! We've come a long way, baby!!!!!